BUZZFEED *19 " What If?" Tweets that are half stupid, half funny*

 

By Mike Spohr

BuzzFeed Staff

19 " What If?" Tweets that are half stupid, half funny

1.  Sarah Schauer ( @SJSchauer )

 " What if you were hooking up with someone and they kept calling your boobs "yams"."

2. justin ( @farringt0n )

" What if she orgasms and it sounds like seth rogen's laugh"

3. Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux )

" It is very weird that boobs are like so sexual but also just for milk. Like what if penises also had Caesar Salad"

 

4. justin ( @farringt0n )

" What if you got to heaven and god had dangly earring"

5. soul nate ( @MNateShyamalan

( creating bats)

god: well we already made birds

angel: 

god:

angel: what if they were goth

god: omg what IF they were goth tho

6. Rich Brian ( @richbrian )

" What if when you go to sleep your brain downloads tomorrow's episode of your life. anyway have a good day guys"

7. Oysterpapi ( @jasonjermaine )

" What if they traveled from the future to deliver themselves? *hits blunt*

** CNN @CNN These identical twins babies were delivered by identical twin nurses at a Georgia hospital cnn.it20Xjma7

8. duo ( @duolingous )

" what if bike was short or bichael"

9. kate ( @filmsbi )

stephen king's mind:

what if dog...bad?

what if car...bad?

what if clown...bad?

what if hotel...bad?

10. Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan

Bruce Willis: There are four elements, right?

Producer : Go on...

Bruce: What if there was a FIFTH

Producer: Love it

Bruce: Ok, you know there are five senses...( half an hour later)

Producer: Please, I have a family

Bruce: So what if there were TWELEVE monkeys?

11. Rakesh Satyal ( @rakeshsatyal )

Daylight saving time is like " What if night began at lunch?"

12. Abby Govindan ( @abbygov )

What if college had yearly wrap ups like spotify did

This year you:

Passed 4 tests

Cried 2948 times

Failed 3 classes

Switch majors 6 times

Had an existential crisis twice

This is a big deal!

13. Levi ( @Levi_Pasma3 )

What if your debit/credit card had a yearly wrap up like spotify

" You bought 243 crunchwrap supremes in 2019"

" You frequented Taco Bell at 2 am"

" You spent $753 on coffee this year"

14. Abbie ( @AbbieEvansXO )

Me: What if you had a stew

Fantasy writer: I'm listening

Me: But it wasn't hearty

Fantasy writer: get out

15. Jay-Qwellin ( @DarkCovfefe )

What if Stacey's mom was Jessie's girl and her phone number was 8675309?

Never mind, some of y'all are too young for that mind blower.

16. Mark Agee ( @MarkAgee )

What if we find out Truth Hurts is about Dave Coulier too

17. Elizabeth May ( @_ElizabethMay )

hear me out

what if there were a movie let's call it .... GALACTIC BATTLES starring Oscar Isaac and John Boyega as the gayest captains of a starship crew and they kiss like all the time

18. Sarah Beattie ( @nachosarah )

guys what if the kool aid man is filled with blood

19. Octopus/Caveman ( @OctopusCaveman )

My 5 year old son just asked " what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey's whole life" and none of the parenting books I've read have prepared ne for this question